Saturday, November 14, 2009

Day Seven: Journal of Infinite Testimony on Narrowing It All Down To Be With You

I have been you and you have been me. Me has been someone else as someone else has been another that I never knew. Someone arrived. Someone left. Someone stayed in the same place. Anyone I knew before I no longer know and I no longer know anyone I will know because it hasn't happened yet. Anything that hasn't happened yet might not happen because I do not know what is going to happen until it is happening. While it is happening, it has already happened the moment I have written down that it is happening. This makes it possible that I have already died. I am dying and I have also yet to die. I have died as everyone over forty-two billion years. I am dying now as we all die. Both you and I. I and you. You that you know yourself to be. You that you think yourself to be. You that you will never be. You that you already were. You that had been here, there, everywhere and nowhere. I that I had been, I that I am, I that I will be and I that I never was, will never be, could never be, should never be, would never be, was. I was Joan or Arc burned at the stake. I was Hitler taking over a whole race.

I was Zeus. I was Charis. I was Elizabeth Bathory. I was Vlad the Impaler. I was Nosferatu. I was the beginning of time. I was time itself. I am no time. I am no mind. I am all that was, is and will be. I was the camera. I was the file. I was the cabinet. The government. I was the psychic. The psychiatrist. The communist. Socialist. I was the banner. The planner. The image. I was you and you were me. I was the lens. The film. The trace. The copy. Disgrace. I was atheism. Hinduism. Magic. Tragic. I was every father, mother, child, sister, brother. I was the sun. The moon. I am pure awareness. Pure consciousness. Pure Love. Pure devotion. Pure evolution. I am one with all and all is one. This is what it is. I am not any of anything anymore that you think I am only I have the eyes to see me. You are the thing that you think I am. I am the thing I think you are.

I am done TRYING to do things. Trying to make things happen. I am the thing I was looking for. I had left but now I have been found. I can tell you anything that is not and everything that is but it won't make a difference. The stick has been removed from my eye. The burn has been healed. This is an example of a paragraph that depicts many ideas of things that were, things that are, things that may be. Possibly. I am the center of the wheel that doesn't move while it spins around and around. I am the ship that sails around the world looking for something that never will be found. I am the conversation that goes in one ear and out the other. I am the father that is also a mother, a son, a lover, a brother, a grandfather. I am forty-two billion years old and I am ageless. I am the clock that has stopped ticking. I am my own contradiction. I am my own best friend. I am my own sadness. I am the joy. I am love. I am everything under the sun. I am you.

I move when I never do. I see what I never saw. I taste what I never ate. I digest you. You digest me. I am a sand grain in a deserted sea. I am the depth of the ocean. I am everything undiscovered. I am everything uncovered. I am every lover. I am a tear. I am laughter. I am a scream. I am a dream. I deal with you. I steal with you. I feel you. I thought of you. I spoke of you. I called you. If I call, please answer. If I knock please answer the door. If I give you enough know that there is always more. If I confuse you then know that there's more to make sense. If you thirst then it will be quenched with more thirst. If you hunger then know that you will be fed with more hunger. If you think yourself to be then know there will be more to be.

It was already decided. Everyone has ideas. No one has any idea.

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